Saturday, July 16, 2011

Intuition amiss the storm

Nervous energy and excitement engulfed my body as I entered the
endearing country of Costa Rica.  With my over packed luggage and
eager heart, I found my way up the steep, yet lush and beautiful
driveway to the Costa Rica Yoga Spa. In that pleasant moment wondering
if I was possibly dreaming the reality I had been looking forward to
for months, my intuition spoke to me.  My Kula (community) was waiting and ready
for me.  It was time to listen to that so called ‘gut’ feeling and
release any uneasy breathe buried within me.  Ah, yes, exhale and
trust.

The serene atmosphere of the sacred space overlooking the wild jungle
surrounding me was more than my senses could handle.  Overwhelming
feelings were trying to intrude on this beautiful moment.  It was time
to tell my mind to stop thinking and remember my prana’s ability to
take me back to my ‘gut’ feeling, which I had just a spit second ago.
So easily we let our mind lead us.  I thought to myself, isn’t yoga
supposed to be mind, body & spirit.  That’s when I remembered to let
go and BAM! I was back to my intuition followed by the warm smiles
from my new friends.

After an interesting first three days of yoga teacher training, I was
given a task by my guru to spend the next week working on my most
challenging pose. I was exhausted, introverted and simply not enthused
by this task. Of course, my favorite and least challenging pose came
immediately to mind, however my intuition was telling me to work on
Pincha Mayurasana (forearm balance). It was THE dreaded pose I have
been “working on” for months.  I somehow always find myself angered by
this pose but unwilling to take the time to dissect it.   As each day
passed, I struggled with the perfectionist within me as I fell out of
the pose constantly.  Discouragement and judgement toward myself was
constantly entering my thoughts.  It was difficult to escape my own
perceptions, until I remembered to honor the teacher within me.  Would
I speak badly to my students or get angered at them the way I am
speaking to myself? Of course not.  That is when I spoke to my inner
teacher and started from beginner’s mind.  We often forget to come
back to beginner’s mind but it is there, where I do not recognize my
ego’s subtle intrusion.  Releasing from the ego and focusing on the
fundamentals of the pose increased my awareness.  I decided to pop the
bubble of the angered judgmental ego away into space and soared into
Pincha Mayurasana.  Almost forgetting to breathe, I relaxed and smiled
at the teacher with in me. Woohoo! I had finally come face to face
with my mind and found my intuition.

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