Inward.
The word intrigues me, yet frightens the hell out of me. It has been the large red button I have yearned to push for far too long now. Will I see things I don't necessarily want to see? Will I gain a better perspective on my life? I know the answers, but for heavens sake why is it so difficult to set time aside for myself and to learn more about me.
Who am I?
Between Facebook "likes" and counting Twitter "followers", the ego has shown it's way through once again. In today's society we are more interested in ourselves then anything else, which leads me to question why it is so hard to take the journey inward. Seek what has yet to be sought. Constantly we use the word "I" and seek for other's approval, but why don't we seek approval from ourselves?
The layers I have created throughout the years to "protect" myself have actually caused more harm then good. Go figure. I have been focusing so deeply on the outward journey merely because I had mistaken it for the inward journey. We do it everyday by investing in projects we feel are bigger than ourselves to feel a sense of accomplishment. However, I forgot one small piece to the puzzle! Without loving myself completely, how will I ever feel accomplishment? If I do feel accomplishment, the feeling will only last momentarily and the next thing to do will begin.
Driving in my car tonight, I took apart the common phrase,"Love yourself before you truly love someone else". I have heard it often and even repeated it to friends and family, but most importantly did I live what I was preaching? Yes, I do love myself. Well, that's a fantastic start! I have actually admitted that I love ME, even for my imperfections and quirky personality. After I answered the question and smiled to myself, I began to feel content with who I am. I let all the questions and thoughts dissipate for a moment to honor the fact that indeed, I had just started my journey to go inward and truthfully by accident. It took a number of signs for me to recognize this and to become aware of the new journey I am on, but in the end it was I who chose it. Sometimes a little push is necessary from outside factors, such as the universe or close friends, but ultimately until we are ready to confront what is really going on, it is then that we will see that which has been embedded within us the entire time ~Namaste
